It's as soft as your pillow

"Happiness is all in the mind,let's (un)wind, and find a reason to smile!" True. And when you get to that point it's like you have entered a room which seems to open the further you go inside, like a secret cave or the magic wardrobe that led to Narnia. It echoes with foreign accents, voices and laughter. But they are not that foreign, they have always been there. This place has always been here. You just never bothered to find it, because it was easier not to.

who was this strange guy in a beatles t-shirt, all stars and ragged chinos

003


 

Lesson of the day: There is inspiration in everything. Only one rule : keep your eyes and mind open.

You just happen to be where everything feels fine

It has been snowing all day, and it does not seem like it will ever stop. That small percentage of me that liked snow has now misteriously packed its bags and left my brain. But in many ways it has been a good day. ( or is it yesterday?)

 

Anna Ternheim is making sweet tunes in my headphones and i am smiling. Kill me now and I will die happy. I will die knowing that I love so many people that they can not be counted on my fingers and that no matter how grey the day may be they make me smile

 

a new secret i have found

 



Even though i am not good at saying it, i know that you know it in some strange way. You are the light of my day.

I turned cold after that night


Karma is going to haunt me for a long time because of this day. I have been a bad person. Not one positive word has left my mouth. All the small things irritate me. No, everything irritates me. And I do not have a reason for all of that, it is just one of those days. I have no energy, no strenght, no thoughts, no nothing.When I woke up  it felt like someone had just taken my head and poured out everything. I feel like a small goldfish swimming in a big pond. Enormous one.

I better go sleep, before more negative words come rolling of my toungue. Sleep and forget this day, wake up as a positive Merima.

and the present now will later be past

Today I found my old drawings and notebooks. From the time when I was up til five in the morning doing nothing. When I could sleep away the whole day. When I was thinking too much and sketching even more. When I had alot of questions and very few answers.When all I wanted was to lock myself in my room and never go out. And so I did, for weeks. When I trusted very few, I don't think I even trusted myself. When Peyton was the girl I wanted to become and Lucas was the smartest person in the world. Sometimes I miss those in many ways careless days, but mostly, I don't.

 


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my secret

Last night I left my problems in front of the door. Someone elses door, though, but equally safe, such as my own. They somehow still have not managed to find their way back to their / my home.




If I'm asking to be saved I must learn how to kneel



Tonight has been long, I've smoked every breath,
Tryin to feel so alive, tempting death,
I've smiled at the angels, but I fear where they live,
I've taken too much but nothing to give


cheers to a new year and another chance to make it right.

mood: headache and sleepy
music: colplay - the scientist   
Come up to meet you, tell you I am sorry. You don't know how lovely you are.
oh, and i rush to the start

Nyttårsaften ble tilbrakt med fine mennesker og det er rart å tenke på at jde fleste av dem har jeg ikke kjent i mere enn ett år. Men jeg håper det blir mange flere.

 Et av mine nyttårsforsetter startet jeg med allerede noen få minutter ut i det nye året. Jeg har bestemt meg for å bli et snillere menneske. Og mens jeg og Maren stod der ute i kulden og ventet på å bli hentet fant vi en veske med penger og mobil.  Så vi tok den med til to snille politimenn. Årets første gode gjerning.

Godt nytt år, måtte det bli tusen ganger bedre enn det forrige og måtte vi alle bli bedre mennesker.