She makes herself some coffee filled with sugar, milk and truth



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Explain me some things.. Draw them on a piece of paper with colorful pencils as you would to a child. Tell me what the green stands for and what the red represents. Tell it to me with short sentences and easy words.Draw me a blue sky with white clouds. Green leaves and red apples. Draw the feeling «everything is okay» and i will believe you, being the hild i am. Use every color you can find. Just stay away from the yellow. I do not like yellow. ( it reminds me of youknowwho)And don't you dare draw me yellow. I am green. Always have been.


wild horses i wanna be like you

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The days no longer smell  like they used to, so dry and gloomy.  I try to skip the poor things, bad people, i smile and move along. I am again here where my secrets end, where the wind has taken away the last petals of my desires. I am trying to grab luck by his neck. I can still smell the miracles, even though i have every reason not to. I am  in that place where trust and hope lives. In a place where light is not extinct. I am home. I am so far, but still so close.
 

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

I smile when i see a stranger on the buss reading my favourite book. Or when a pair of all stars pass me in the hallway. I smile when Regina Spektors voice comes from the radio or by the smell of hot chocolate. I smile when you share your words with me. And i smile when there seems to be no reason to smile.

mmeima


For the rest of the day i am going undercover to read for my economics test. Drinking tea and hoping my voice soon turns back to normal. 

shhh

Lately I have been living in a bubble and in a strange way i like it in here. But i am afraid it might burst. So i watch each step carefully. Try not to throw stones, because i think the bubble is made of glass. My plan is to shh and smile.

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Putting on my headphones and some old all stars, taking the stress level down to zero and hitting the cold streets with my camera.

thank you for bringing new songs and words. thank you for being...you.

Essentially she was just one big, naive and honest child. Trying to make the best of the situations, see the best in people. She believed every letter, word and sentence. She was told not to, but she put her trust in those words. And when silence came she was telling herself it would soon be over. But  waves of disapointment came crashing on her beach. Again and again. Her biggest fears, death and people leaving, came with the waves, forcing her to face them. Then one night she turned cold.

He is asking her alot of questions using all these pretty words and elegant fraces ,but what he is trying to ask is who she blames ? If she would erase it? If she is happy?


Blaming other people never got her anywhere.She knows that . For a long time she wished she could erase it, but would that make her happier? Instead she chooses to take the good that came along, wrap it in the finest silk and place it gently in the corner of her heart. The bad she wishes to learn from. After she is done learning, she places it in a big wooden box, locks it up and throws it into the deepest and darkest ocean.

They tell her she seems happier now. They tell her that they have never seen her smile this much. They call her a happy child. She has never been called that, but she likes it. And she is, happier. Because now she knows that she does not need his hand to guide her to happiness. That it only grows in  her own garden, she just needs to step into it. The four letter word she needed wasn't necessarily love. But hope.

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Now all of this is a pretty little memory in her heart. It needed to happen and somehow it was right at that point. It was right for the girl she was then. And that silence has now been filled, with new songs, laughs and words. Maybe she found them herself, maybe they had been there all along or maybe someone new brought them into her life when she needed it the most.

take it back, please, take it back.

Beyonce is telling me through VH1 that her walls are tumbling down.. I am putting mine up, good thing i have done it a couple of times before.. These one i am making skyhigh and bulletproof.  Caring less.Taking back what i gave. Doing what i want to do and let the chips fall where they may. You may hate me for it, but so be it. In the end i am doing it for myself and you will survive.

So if you got something unsaid, say it, tomorrow i might no longer care for your fairytales.


whitelipdarling

goodbye,goodnight and thank you!

(the truth: I do not know how not to care, think i skipped that lesson. But i do not have to show it.)

leaving

Waking up today i realize what my body was trying to tell me yesterday. " Calm down. Stress down. Breathe."
Soar throat, no voice and headache. Walking around the house saying: not now, not now, i do not need this now.

Looking at the nightstand, open book with black words written on white pages as the soul laid bare. Making me smile.

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Hit me like a ray of sun

 

Our arrows shine on the horizon, I know it. I clearly see them when I close my eyes, although the horizon is untouchable, at least for now. I believe in the future and what it will bring, blurry, but still. And in the future we are all smiling, and i somehow i feel like it will all be ok. And I want to believe in that, not push it away, but hold on to it for as long as I can. But i  need you to believe in it as well.

 

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where do i come home to, when all I know is where i am

There I saw the world for the first time through the eyes of a child, and I would not have changed it for anything on earth. There may be nicer places, but dearer certainly does not exist.This place, it is me, my life, my love, my manger and my grave, my start and my finish. I know every building, corner and cranny, every little rock, every bump in the road, every tree. I know each odor. I know every shadow, every light, from the pink-like in the morning to the red sunset, from the white cotton-like clouds to the dark clouds that alert storm. And it's all mine, as my own body, and even more important, for it is something that has accepted me, tied me to itself, marked me forever. Therefore, I can not say I love it, like I can not say I love my own body. But I can say: I live with it, and without it I wouldn't be.


merima black and whitepola01

today one of my best friends turned 18

and I have never seen you so happy. You just could not stop smiling and it was contagious. I have never been so happy on someone elses behalf as I am today. You are the most caring and amazing person and you really deserved it.

Happy birthday and congratulations with your license card, ikke noe mer glattkjøring, langkjøring og glemte kjøretimer.

mimaogmaren

Jeg kan ikke tro at denne jenta nå er myndig, skal få sitt første kredittkort og at denne lille jenten skal kjøre den store bilen, helt alene. Dette skal feires. håper du får en fantastisk dag og det beste året. We have had some good years and I hope there are many more to come! Glad i deg!